How can I prevent myself from overstepping my boundaries?
How can I prevent myself from overstepping my boundaries?
How can I prevent myself from overstepping my boundaries. This is a frequently asked question that I sometimes hear from our guests or read online. But actually, from a spiritual perspective, this is not a helpful way of thinking. And when you start making decisions based on this mindset, such as “I must learn to say no”, you actually end up further away from home, or rather, in this case, “further away from yourself” than you would like. With this way of thinking you just limit yourself, this can have far reaching consequences.
But what is the right way? How can I feel better without thinking in terms of boundaries and without limiting myself?
I will explore this theme further in this blog.
Let's first look at the approach of 'boundaries'
You must have read about it and may even already embraced the idea which is the foundation of all serieus spiritual traditions in one or another way: We are Sharing in a wider Whole. We are of a Oneness we cannot know.
And this is not just a nice idea, everyone seriously exploring this can draw these conclusions, even science comes up with these conclusions these days.
Exploring and embracing this we can do by implementing it in our thinking and in our way of living.
So the first question relating to the theme is: "If all is One, how can there be boundaries?!"
It depends on perspective
Ofcourse there are different perspectives and in our daily lives we continuesly switch in perspectives.
Indeed if you try to open a door that is locked there is a boundary, if you bump yourself against a table you feel a boundary. So indeed from one perspective only, you could say we have boundaries, and you may need to deal with that on a very practical basis which can include a no.
But I am talking here more psychologically and from spiritual perspectives. This level of everything sharing in Oneness is transcendental and shimmers through all other levels. This also means that with regard to for example a level of thinking this influences other levels and can be a cause of a consequence you cannot oversee.
Oké let's decide there are no boundaries
If we drop the idea of boundaries can you imagine a whole world opens up? Without boundaries suddenly limitation changes into potential! And now I hear you thinking 'but....what about this headache I get everything I cross my.....'
I get it, you have a headache, or a sense of stress, digestion problems, skin rash, difficult emotions or anything else that may appear whenever you cross....
You can't cheat life!
So let's reframe this in a more helpful way. If we want to look at this from the perspective that we share in a wider whole and we don't want to put that perspective aside, we don't want to make an exception like 'yes we share in a wider whole but only...', no we cannot do that, it's cheating and you can't cheat life!
Even though we cannot know it, we can relate to this wider whole
It is very helpful when we start relating to this unknowable wider whole in a sense. We don't need to know or understand in order to embrace and relate.
We can say; "Within this wider Whole, in which I share, I can witness Signs. And I always have the choice and responsibility to listen to them or to ignore them". These Signs can be inner Signs or Outer Signs, they give ongoing direction and Guidance in daily living.
So a headache becomes a Sign
So a headache becomes a Sign, a skin rashe, stomach pain, stress, emotion, attachments ....But also the angry neighbour, the annoying colleague, your partner behaving strange...
Do you see the slight difference in te way we put it? And can you see the keys that come with this different perspective?
A little change in thinking can be the cause of big life changing experience!
It may be subtle, but on very unconscious levels this resonance may have a big influence in your daily inner and outer life.
We will dive deep into the basics of this during the event 'Meaningful Living'. Join in and explore how this can change your life and help you become the creator of your own life!
A closed 'No' changes in an open 'Yes'
Observing these Signs, listening to them, working with them keeps an open mind.
Instead of saying "no, I don't want to cross my bounderies" you say Yes to the Signs and you ask what is needed to do something with this, this is a change in attitude that opens doors. It invites reflection, contemplation and with that answers and solutions will come, you can dive as deep as you want.
It can be helpful to take some distance from your daily life sometimes by leaving things behind and visit a retreat centre.
We facilitate an environment that support this kind of reflection and contemplation. For example during the event 'The Essence of Meditation'.
A compass for living
This different way of approaching life is not only practical, it generates much more meaning and potential, beyond your imagination! In a sense, by starting such a relation with living you start building an inner and outer compass, something many people these days have lost!
The very basic principal to this way of living is absolutely beyond understanding. You can't read yourselve into Wisdom as Yoginâm states. Therefor we facilitate the incredible powerful 6-day Nâm Retreat of Silence.
Don't forget, everything is resonance!
Because everything is resonance, including our thoughts, ways of thinking and believing, this influences the Whole, which is resonance as well. Therefor it is just practical as well as wise to take this into consideration. Even to become more aware of how you think and what you believe.
It is this resonance that has a creating force and creates our everyday living, over and over again in very subtle and unconscious layers.
So if you can change the believe that you have boundaries which need to be protected and with which you limit yourself into an attitude of 'Listening to Signs' you start creating a different world for yourself.
You want to explore this in a supporting environment with like minded people? Book a Personal Meditation Retreat
By changing this perspective you start creating a different world for yourself
This is also because the energie of boundaries in a sense has a conclusion on the level of intent. It is a fixed thing based on earlier conclusions. This stops movement, you are convinced about it and that can be a closure of doors. This als is a closure to potential solutions and a potential different course. A boundaries will not likely change unless you make an effort to widen the boundaries but again you just move the closed door a little bit further away, but you keep it closed.
Keeping the doors open
If you want to keep the door more open in a more exploring way using the idea of Listening to Signs can be a great help. You can also still draw conclusions but they are not fixed, you keep moving in openness.
For example: 'you got a headache because you crossed...oh no... you got a headache because you forget to sit down and drink a kop of thee, or you started shaking because your blood sugar level dropped because you forgot (or didn't give yourself time) to eat something.
You want to explore this topic through a body approach sign in to one of our Yoga Retreats!
You are always responsible
So you still may need to change behaviour which is nothing else than taking responsibility when a Signs is asking it of you. Looking at Signs in daily living is a way of approaching life in movement, it is always open for change and adaptations when necessary.
Visit our Retreat Centre Asharum Amonines as a regular visitor, work along with others in the house and the garden and explore in depth what this can do for you!
