How can I prevent myself from overstepping my boundaries?

How can I prevent myself from overstepping my boundaries?

How can I prevent myself from overstepping my boundaries. This is a frequently asked question that I sometimes hear from our guests or read online. But actually, from a spiritual perspective, this is not a helpful way of thinking. And when you start making decisions based on this mindset, such as “I must learn to say no”, you actually end up further away from home, or rather, in this case, “further away from yourself” than you would like. With this way of thinking you just limit yourself, this can have far reaching consequences.

But what is the right way? How can I feel better without thinking in terms of boundaries and without limiting myself? 

I will explore this theme further in this blog.

Let's first look at the approach of 'boundaries'

You must have read about it and may even already embraced the idea which is the foundation of all serieus spiritual traditions in one or another way:  We are Sharing in a wider Whole. We are of a Oneness we cannot know.

And this is not just a nice idea, everyone seriously exploring this can draw these conclusions, even science comes up with these conclusions these days.

Exploring and embracing this we can do by implementing it in our thinking and in our way of living.

So the first question relating to the theme is: "If all is One, how can there be boundaries?!"

It depends on perspective

Ofcourse there are different perspectives and in our daily lives we continuesly switch in perspectives.

Indeed if you try to open a door that is locked there is a boundary, if you bump yourself against a table you feel a boundary.  So indeed from one perspective only, you could say we have boundaries, and you may need to deal with that on a very practical basis which can include a no.

But I am talking here more psychologically and from spiritual perspectives. This level of everything sharing in Oneness is transcendental and shimmers through all other levels. This also means that with regard to for example a level of thinking this influences other levels and can be a cause of a consequence you cannot oversee.

Oké let's decide there are no boundaries

If we drop the idea of boundaries can you imagine a whole world opens up? Without boundaries suddenly limitation changes into potential! And now I hear you thinking 'but....what about this headache I get everything I cross my.....'

I get it, you have a headache, or a sense of stress, digestion problems, skin rash, difficult emotions or anything else that may appear whenever you cross....

You can't cheat life!

So let's reframe this in a more helpful way. If we want to look at this from the perspective that we share in a wider whole and we don't want to put that perspective aside, we don't want to make an exception like 'yes we share in a wider whole but only...', no we cannot do that, it's cheating and you can't cheat life!

Even though we cannot know it, we can relate to this wider whole

It is very helpful when we start relating to this unknowable wider whole in a sense. We don't need to know or understand in order to embrace and relate.

We can say; "Within this wider Whole, in which I share, I can witness Signs. And I always have the choice and responsibility to listen to them or to ignore them". These Signs can be inner Signs or Outer Signs, they give ongoing direction and Guidance in daily living.

So a headache becomes a Sign

So a headache becomes a Sign, a skin rashe, stomach pain, stress, emotion, attachments ....But also the angry neighbour, the annoying colleague, your partner behaving strange...

Do you see the slight difference in te way we put it? And can you see the keys that come with this different perspective?

A little change in thinking can be the cause of big life changing experience!

It may be subtle, but on very unconscious levels this resonance may have a big influence in your daily inner and outer life.

We will dive deep into the basics of this during the event 'Meaningful Living'.  Join in and explore how this can change your life and help you become the creator of your own life!

A closed 'No' changes in an open 'Yes'

Observing these Signs, listening to them, working with them keeps an open mind.

Instead of saying "no, I don't want to cross my bounderies" you say Yes to the Signs and you ask what is needed to do something with this, this is a change in attitude that opens doors. It invites reflection, contemplation and with that answers and solutions will come, you can dive as deep as you want.

It can be helpful to take some distance from your daily life sometimes by leaving things behind and visit a retreat centre.

We facilitate an environment that support this kind of reflection and contemplation. For example during the event 'The Essence of Meditation'. 

A compass for living

This different way of approaching life is not only practical, it generates much more meaning and potential, beyond your imagination! In a sense, by starting such a relation with living you start building an inner and outer compass, something many people these days have lost!

The very basic principal to this way of living is absolutely beyond understanding. You can't read yourselve into Wisdom as Yoginâm states. Therefor we facilitate the incredible powerful 6-day Nâm Retreat of Silence.

Don't forget, everything is resonance!

Because everything is resonance, including our thoughts, ways of thinking and believing, this influences the Whole, which is resonance as well.  Therefor it is just practical as well as wise to take this into consideration. Even to become more aware of how you think and what you believe.

It is this resonance that has a creating force and creates our everyday living, over and over again in very subtle and unconscious layers.

So if you can change the believe that you have boundaries which need to be protected and with which you limit yourself into an attitude of 'Listening to Signs' you start creating a different world for yourself.

You want to explore this in a supporting environment with like minded people? Book a Personal Meditation Retreat

By changing this perspective you start creating a different world for yourself

This is also because the energie of boundaries in a sense has a conclusion on the level of intent. It is a fixed thing based on earlier conclusions. This stops movement, you are convinced about it and that can be a closure of doors. This als is a closure to potential solutions and a potential different  course. A boundaries will not likely change unless you make an effort to widen the boundaries but again you just move the closed door a little bit further away, but you keep it closed.

Keeping the doors open

If you want to keep the door more open in a more exploring way using the idea of Listening to Signs can be a great help. You can also still draw conclusions but they are not fixed, you keep moving in openness.

For example: 'you got a headache because you crossed...oh no... you got a headache because you forget to sit down and drink a kop of thee, or you started shaking because your blood sugar level dropped because you forgot (or didn't give yourself time) to eat something.

You want to explore this topic through a body approach sign in to one of our Yoga Retreats!

You are always responsible

So you still may need to change behaviour which is nothing else than taking responsibility when a Signs is asking it of you. Looking at Signs in daily living is a way of approaching life in movement, it is always open for change and adaptations when necessary.

Visit our Retreat Centre Asharum Amonines as a regular visitor, work along with others in the house and the garden and explore in depth what this can do for you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

How to deal with Loneliness

How to Deal with Loneliness

Recently, the theme of loneliness appeared repeatedly in my life. It came as a question—first from one person, then echoed by four others in close succession:
“How do I deal with loneliness?”

Each time, the question felt sincere and raw. It touched me. In some cases, it was heartbreaking to witness the struggle.

How do I deal with Loneliness

Confronted with these stories, I also realised something: I don’t really know this theme personally.
I have been blessed with a life in connection which is mirrored in my living in Asharum Amonines.  A sense of being accompanied—by something greater—has always been present.

But then, I asked myself:
Why is this question crossing my path now?
What can I offer when I haven’t lived that same pain?

Looking more closely, there have been moments in my life when I experienced exclusion—both as a child and again as an adult. The latter brought with it an incredibly intense pain, maybe the deepest I’ve ever felt.
And yet, curiously, I wouldn’t describe it as loneliness. Because it was in that pain that something beautiful happened:
I reached out, inwardly. And the help came.

It was painful—and profoundly blessed.
One of the most transformative experiences of my life, connecting me more deeply to what I can only call my God—a presence that has always accompanied me.

Listening to Someone Who's Been There: Loneliness

Still, I felt the need to understand loneliness more intimately. So I asked someone who had lived with it for quite some time:
What helped you through that time?

Her first answer was simple, but difficult and only possible when there is true acceptance:

“Wait patiently. Sit it out.”

Then she added something truly beautiful:

“I learned that giving opens something. If you feel lonely, don’t wait to receive—start giving, no matter how small.
A smile to a stranger is already something.
And if even that feels impossible, then begin by wanting to smile—life will meet you there.
If you feel like you have nothing to give, then begin by wanting to give. Opportunities will come.”

Such a powerful shift.
Giving—even a little—creates movement. And movement can invite connection.

From Loneliness to a Sense of Connection

Her words made me reflect again:
Why have I rarely felt lonely, even when I was alone much?

I think the answer lies in what I can only describe as a sense of connection.
Since early childhood, I’ve had a deep inner knowing—a God-sense, as I call it. A feeling that I was never really alone.

Even as a child, playing by myself in the woods or near the river, I wasn’t lonely. I was in good company—with myself, with the world around me, and with something unseen but always present.

It reminds me of something Yoginâm once shared:

“Loneliness cannot exist when you realise that you share in a wider whole.”

And when I faced deep emotional crisis in life, I turned to that presence once again. I cried out—not just with my mind, but with my whole being. And I was answered, in a way beyond words.

Not Just in the Mind

This connection is not an intellectual belief. It’s a lived, full-bodied experience—a longing and a response.
Many people have learned to pray to something external, an idea of a God far away.
I once did too.

But through Yoginâm’s words—and more powerfully, through his silence and presence—I discovered something deeper:
God is not out there. God, or however you want to name it, is within.
The source of all that is.
Beyond naming. Beyond believing.
A path of exploration, not of doctrine.

And this path—this exploration—can gently lead you into relationship with your own deepest essence.

Yoginâm’s Teachings

Reading Yoginâm’s books, I find language that doesn’t always follow convention. He sometimes invents new words or borrows from forgotten traditions—not to confuse, but to break open old thinking, to help us go beyond habitual understanding.

Words like God, ego, karma—they carry assumptions that limit us.
Yoginâm offers another view. He speaks of us for example not as an “I living in a world,” but as 'I-World'—in which both 'I' and 'World' are completely interwoven with each other.

When we forget this, we can fall into the illusion of separation.
That’s when loneliness can arise.

In The Book of Nâm (p.144), Yoginâm describes this as:

The Double Illusion of Separation:
The first illusion is the belief that ‘I’ and ‘World’ are separate.
The second is the belief that you - being Experience as 'I-World' - is separate from Awareness, which is your true Essence.

It is a profound teaching—more something you must allow to dawn upon than to grasp immediately.

Living Connected: A Metaphor That Resonates

To support this dawning upon, I want to share a powerful metaphor from (among others)  Fragments of Voice, a small poetic book that touched me deeply:

 

"In living you become from the ocean a drop

In living too you become from a drop an ocean

Ocean and drop

Drop and ocean

The sameness of water

The saint realises water

The wise one realises the ocean

The ignorant one realises

The drop"

 

Join Us in Exploration

If this reflection speaks to you, and you would like to explore more deeply in a safe and guided setting, I warmly invite you to the 5-day Intensive “Meaningful Living”, starting this sprim April 8 and in summer on August 12.

It’s a beautiful and powerful opportunity to contemplate connection, attunement and the deeper meaning of being alive.

Whatever path you walk—whether alone or accompanied—may you remember that you are never truly separate.

You always share in a wider whole.

With warmth,
Irma

 

 

A Revolution of the Heart

How to Navigate a World in Turmoil

There is so much happening in the world today.
We scroll through headlines, watch the news, and never quite know what’s true. Yet it seems: upheaval is everywhere.

Are these events leading us toward something positive? Or are we hurtling toward disaster—an Armageddon of sorts?
No one really knows. Perspectives differ wildly, and predictions are as varied as the people who make them.

 

We are the world

Some assume that because in Amonines we live a contemplative life, we must be disconnected from the world—that we neither watch the news nor care about what unfolds.

But that is not true.

We are deeply involved. When we read about pain and suffering, our hearts are touched just the same.

How could it be otherwise?

We are the world.

 

Seeing Differently

The difference lies in how we relate to what we see and hear.

We do not take every story at face value.
We question, observe, and try to look beyond appearances to what is.

What is the enemy? Why do we call them so? Where did they come from, How did they become so? And what would it take to turn them into a friend (again)?”

A way of thinking we learned from Yoginâm.

Consider:

A country decides it must defend itself from an enemy. Huge sums are poured into weapons, soldiers are recruited, and people rally behind the idea of war. Many say, “What choice do we have? We must fight!”

But is this the only narrative?

We don’t accept such narratives as absolute truths. Why? Because we hold to a transcendental Truth—a Certainty that transcends all stories and lies within us.

This Certainty, untouchable and unchanging, anchors us even when everything else falls apart. It allows us to question the “truths” of the world without fear of losing our footing.

Becoming the Change

Many ask:
“But what can I do? How can I help? This must stop!”

We agree. Action is needed. But not necessarily on the barricades.

True change begins within.
It begins with becoming different beings—by awakening and allowing ourselves to be Guided.

“You are not separate from the world. You are the world. And when you transform, so too does the world.”

 The Light of Nâm

We place all things within a wider perspective: the Light of Nâm.

But isn’t this just a way to avoid responsibility?
No. It is precisely the opposite.

When you realize that everything is resonance, you discover a profound truth:
We are not passive observers waiting for systems or leaders to change the world.

We are the change.

A Revolution of the Heart

When you read of war or genocide and feel horror, grief, and compassion rising in you, this is not passive.
It is an active resonance —a revolution of the heart.

It is a profound step to affirm, even in the face of suffering:

“What is, is what is, as what is.”

To discover Abbah in Asha—or, poetically, “The Beloved in the Face of the Beloved”—in all things, is to contribute to a world in transformation.

When enough people embody this resonance, the world cannot help but change.

 

A Pathless Path

For this reason, we are deeply grateful:

  • To be Guided on this pathless path of transformation.
  •  To facilitate a place of retreat where others, too, can find their inner Guidance.

We are convinced:

A better world begins with becoming a better human being.

What such a “better human being” might look like is wonderfully expressed in Yoginâm’s poem 'Beautiful Human Beings'.

 

Oh, beautiful human beings,

This is the song of my advice:

 

Discover oneness in multiplicity 

And love it unreservedly

Discover multiplicity in Oneness

And serve it unconditionally 

Discover freedom in beauty

And follow it unabashed

Discover tolerance in openness

And walk in its footsteps

 

These are the principles of Love

These are the precepts of wisdom

These are the preconditions of bliss

This is the Way of

Beautiful human beings 

 

Love each other 

Because you are One

Serve each other 

Because you are One

Destroy the boundaries

Because you are One

Abandon all judgment

Because you are One

This is the way of

Beautiful human beings 

 

Yoginâm, The Eye of Beauty, 2013

 

Take the Next Step

Are you ready to contribute to a world in transformation?

Download our little booklet What is Nâm to explore the meaning of this way of living and how you can embody its resonance.

Or discover how a retreat in the Light of Nâm can guide you on your journey.

 

Because when you awaken,

the world awakens with you.

~~~

 

When a loved one dies

~ A text by Irma ten Brink inspired by the work of Yoginâm ~

When a loved one dies

Someone posted a beautiful question:

 

“Do you think those you knew who died

Are in another place then you, right now?”

He referred to a deceased loved one

However I sensed he was not referring to someone

Who stayed in this world as ghost or entity

Like some do

Rather in a sense he referred to a knowing or

A sensing

Nobody ever dies, leaves or is far away

 

The Essence of Meditation

 

Those for whom meditation has become part of daily life,

These questions are actually not that strange, neither are the answers far away.

Actually death is much closer.

Contemplating such questions often bring a warmth, a sense of closeness and intimacy. A remembrance of ‘home’.

Many think meditation is a tool for relaxation, to relieve stress.

And of course this is what it does as well.

But rather more importantly it is a tool to reconnect with our deepest essence, with what we are beyond ourselves.

That part in us that was never born and will never die

Meditation is the way to connect with the part in us that was never born and that will never die.

Just image yourself and ask this question deeper within you

“Where did these loved ones go after they died?

Are they really that far away?”

 

Join us for these and other question during the three day Course Retreat

Essence of Meditation!

 

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retraite centrum, meditatie retraite, retraite, spiritueel, stilte retraite, trancendentieAsharum Amonines

Spiritual Growth: Hobby or Way of Life?

~ A text by Irma ten Brink inspired by the work of Yoginâm ~

Spiritual Growth: Hobby or Way of Life?

Why is spirituality important?

Many people seek spiritual growth, but what does that truly mean? In a world full of commercial courses and quick certifications, the question arises: is spirituality a way of life or merely a hobby?

The trap of superficial spirituality

Eastern spirituality has spread to the West, becoming increasingly popular. However, it is often approached as a hobby—weekend courses that promise transformation but lack depth.

Can you truly learn in a few days what a Tibetan monk spends a lifetime mastering? If spirituality is seen as something to "achieve" in order to teach others, you might be fooling yourself.

Important questions:

  • Do I want to lead a spiritual life, or just have a pleasant hobby?
  • Am I seeking genuine spiritual growth or just quick results?

The path to authentic spirituality

Many people start with yoga, Reiki, or meditation. I did too. But after years of exploration, I discovered that true healing comes from within—nobody can heal another.

My journey led me to a serious spiritual path, which I have followed for 20 years. Yet, I still consider myself a beginner. That’s why I offer courses—not for instant results, but to inspire genuine transformation.

What makes a spiritual life genuine?

  • Daily ethical practice – Not just meditation, but commitment and honesty with oneself.
  • Letting go of negative patterns – Transforming Nafs (Self/Soul), greed, jealousy, and attachments makes space for wisdom and compassion.
  • Transformation through openness – Spiritual growth requires intention, not superficial techniques.

A course as a starting point, not an endpoint

A good spiritual course can inspire and start a transformation, but transformation truly continues afterwards. Many choose the safe, comfortable side—spirituality as a hobby. Yet, if you truly seek growth, it requires commitment and dedication.

Are you ready to embrace an authentic spiritual life?

The 5-day intensive Meaningful Living can be a powerful start!

May 16 - 2025

A participant speaks about the event Meaningful Living

Course Meaningful Living - A participant speaks

~ Translated from Dutch into English ~

 

Find here information on the 5-day intensive Meaningful Living

 

Garden of Eden

The garden of Asharum Amonines may be compared to the Garden of Eden. All those flowers and plants, those scents, those colours! Insects buzz around sweetly, the water of the fountain sounds like a soft melody. A curious robin wonders from his hiding place in the bushes what those new, as yet unknown people are doing there. A languid cat stretches on the gravel path and understands it very well, he does exactly the same as those people who walk around there: catch your breath, breathe in beauty and love and gather strength for a possible next step.

The red thread

The statement ‘ Attunement in affirmation is the meaning of human living ’, is the guideline for the course. It sounds a bit ambitious, trying to understand the meaning of life in five days. At the same time, what is not possible in five days is probably also not possible in five lives. So you might as well try it. Irma is our guide these five days. Step by step, day by day, meditation to meditation, she takes us to an answer. She does this very patiently, with a quip and a lot of understanding, with room for everyone's personal account, which she effortlessly places in the great story that we form together.

How do we deal with today's events?

As different as the background of us as participants is, it becomes clear that we also struggle with the same questions, each in our own way: how can we live, maybe even survive, these days which are full of incomprehensible developments, terrifying ideas and hair-raising events? Should we accept quietly and endure everything? Democracy is not for fearful people, is a saying. But can we counterbalance, offer an alternative that goes further than stop watching news out of self-protection? How? How to offer an alternative without losing yourself in political disputes and above all: without making the opponent stronger by your resistance? While we bend over the meaning of attuning, of affirmation, of what it is like to be human and we ultimately also contemplate the meaning of meaning, these questions form a common thread throughout the days.

The insights and answers to the issues come, on stockinged feet. With every meditation something changes in us, something that cannot be captured in words. I see my own changes reflected in the other participants. Their faces become softer, their voices firmer, their gaze radiates more strength and conviction by the day.

The answers are within ourselves

Answers are already here waiting for us deep within ourselves. We take first steps to get in touch with what else is there. With All that Is. And try to face that unknown without fear and prejudice. Perhaps spirituality, like democracy, is not for fearful people either.

Our journey can begin by realising that we are more than an ‘ opinion ’, more than the experience we experience. We are introduced to new concepts such as ‘ I-World ’ and Irma explains the phenomenon of resonance on the basis of a simple mathematical figure.

Irma navigates us around the rocks of our convictions. 'Knowing you don't know is quite a lot," she says. It is already a step to accept that there is more and that you cannot understand it. And she radiates an unwavering confidence: ‘ although you are touched by the things around you, your wonder and your love resonate in All that Is. ’ Then the answer to the previous questions also looms, how to deal with today's challenges? She points out that it is not necessarily necessary to have some kind of  'numerical majority ’ to let Love conquer.

Meditation and visualisation

It is a lot and it is big what we are trying to learn. Our ideas and experiences as participants vary widely, but Irma always guides us to a middle with meditation exercises and visualisations, to the place in time and space where the inner and outer world become as one. Symbols also help to get past words. And of course music brings an answer. When we listen to the chant “ The Breath of Heart ’ by Alexander Gustave on Sunday morning, everything that still looked for a place falls into place. Thus, almost unnoticed, the certainty has grown in us that only love is the way, only love can disarm.

Come and experience it too!

Much more happened, the conversations were more comprehensive and the meditations deeper than words can represent. Actually you just have to experience it yourself. And then be quiet.

It is very pleasant to stay at this place in the Ardennes, if only because of that magical garden full of peace and quiet. The food is delicious, the rooms are sparkling clean, the atmosphere is silky soft. Irma, Annebeth, Katelijn and Louise lead the dance unobtrusively, each in their own rhythm and always at the right pace. The Asharum Amonines lives its own promise of love and devotion.

Participant of the course August 2024

 

Find here information on the 5-day intensive Meaningful Living
Private retreat

Introduction into the Breath as a powerful tool

~ A text by Irma ten Brink - inspired by Yoginâm ~

Do you wonder?

An introduction into the Breath

You may have read or heard it somewhere….someone talking about ‘the Breath’.

If you wonder what this is about, and how this is more than ‘breathing in and breathing out’ which is of course a natural part of it, then this blog article is meant for you.

It is quite impossible to directly tell you what the Breath is. Therefore I need to talk around it.

First of all, for those trying to live in Nâm, the Breath is our most important instrument. Just consider, if you agree on spirituality to be nothing more than living your natural state, how then can the tools to help you find and live your natural state be complicated?

The Breath is a tool of utmost simplicity.

The quality of the Breath, because it is infused by Awareness, is of a complete other reality; beyond words, beyond grasping and beyond understanding.

Breathing is so natural that we often don’t notice we are doing it. Or is it something that happens to us? Or are we a happening altogether which includes this breathing? We can do things with it, manipulate it but ultimately and definitely life as we no it stops when the breathing stops. Food for thought perhaps. And when you contemplate this, then consider as well that the breathing connects us all, we all breathe the same air! It is not for nothing that in many traditions breathing exercises or focussing on breathing is such an important instrument.

As for ‘the Breath’ it may be good to realise that it is small and big at the same time. Small in its simplicity, big in its transcendency. Close in its intimacy, wide in its infinity.

Why use the Breath?

Because the Breath of Yoginâm is given in his name and received in a specific manner it is not of Experience, it is of Awareness (read more about how these terms are used in  the book SIWEB). Without being able to explain what this means, it may help to realise it is and will not become ‘you’ in the narrow sense of the word, meaning it is not part of your habitual self, not part of your programmes. That is where the power of the Breath lies.

The power of doing the Breath makes your attunement in Awareness becomes so strong that your life will gradually free itself from your disturbing programmes. The experience of living will go beyond your habitual self. You may for example experience life living through you or life guiding you. A profound meaning will enter your life in all circumstances.

An important shift in attention ...

Your attention will first of all move from an I-oriented person to an I-World oriented person who realises I and World are intertwined and sharing in a Whole. And with that realisation you will start living accordingly in a very natural and even effortless way.

The Breath is very simple, all you have to do is bring back your focus to the received sounds connected to your breathing. Of course simple is not always easy. You will soon notice when trying how quickly your attention is distracted.

But that is oké, you just try to find and bring back your attention to the Breath. It is the practice of coming back to the Breath that counts more than the losing of your attention.

And with everything else, it just takes practice and consistency. But if you manage this practice and consistency you will find in the Breath your very best friend, a companion for life!

You will notice, in moments of relaxation, the Breath will be accompanying you. When you drive your car, the Breath is there, when you clean your house, the Breath is there. And yes, when life challenges you and presents difficulties that may be hard to digest, the Breath will be there!

However, when struggle hits you with a returning inner dialogue with negative thoughts, triggered by a disturbing programme which we all have, you may need to be strict on yourself in choosing for the Breath. Because negative emotions can pull us hard. But if you practised the Breath often enough in easier days you will find in the Breath your saviour, for it has the power to help you overcome the difficulty, it helps you transform what needs to be transformed.

... ánd an important shift in identification!

In a spiritual endeavour and in fulfilling your task of life the Breath becomes a powerful tool. Not because of some magical trick but simply because it can help you make the shift in identification.

Transforming our daily life events in which we share with our habitual programmes is an ongoing task in life and we are equipped for that naturally. The Breath supports this natural skill and helps to keep our focus and stay attuned to what we are beyond our habitual programmes, Awareness.

In other words, by bringing our attention back to the Breath every time a negative thought comes up or disturbing emotions, instead of pushing them away you shift your attention, this is an act of letting go. And because the Breath is infused with Awareness (which is beyond Experience) in this proces of letting go emotions become transformed and you attune yourself.

This makes the Breath into a tool that shifts our identification with the daily perception of Experience to a wider identification in Awareness, something that happens rather gradually and in this process disturbing programmes are transformed. This shift is what the real mystics like Rumi has appointed as 'the life's task of man'.

Therefore the Breath is the most simple and natural instrument and yet very profound and powerful. A true pearl amongst all instruments that may support a spiritual endeavour.

Do want to make use of this instrument in your daily life as well?

The Breath can be received upon request, please feel free to ask for more information.

Please contact us for questions and if you are interested in receiving the Breath.

Nâm Retreat Centre Asharum Amonines

A poem on dying

A poem on dying

~ A text by Irma ten Brink inspired by the work of Yoginâm ~

July 21, 2023

Death and Life
It is one and the same
I knew this, for I saw it with my waking eyes already many years ago
Death and Life
One and the same
But life is lived in such a way
That we tend to forget this wisdom
We are forgetful beings
Sometimes, only little moments, we may catch a glimpse
A glimpse of Death and Life
as one and the same
It are these moments that are most precious to me
What a joy was it to know with an absolute certainty
That my dear friend was going home
Stepping over, just a very small step it seamed,
to the other side
A home where time changes into timelessness
Where an illusional difference between Death and Life disappears
‘Search for me there, on the other side’ was the message of his Beloved
And he searched until he found Him!
No sorrow, no pain.
All I want is to celebrate!
What a joy it is, to know our dear friend is back home!
Stervensbegeleiding

The Essence of Letting Go

The Essence of Letting Go

~ A text by Yoginâm ~

 

Many people believe that life is about acquiring something

Acquiring knowledge or acquiring possessions

Even about acquiring age, we celebrate our birthdays

As if we have acquired another year

There are many cultures in which age is unimportant

And birthdays are totally ignored

Acquisition is very different from need

A human culture that is based on need

Would be a very different culture

It would not know the manipulation of greed

That is so characteristic to the Western culture

Living is all we have and as such living is important

But ultimately living will come to an end

And everything will stop in a most drastic manner

It is inevitable, it is the only thing you can really be sure of

The question is: are you prepared?

All spiritual endeavour is ultimately rooted

In dealing with the temporariness of life

In this sense people have discovered

Ultimate values that lie beyond that

To which one feels naturally attracted to in living

In a derived sense such ultimate values psychologically

Contribute greatly to the emergence of enviable states

Such as inner tranquility, contentment and Well Being

A drive for acquisition that is considered to be common

In Western society is a bad preparation for death

Death is not about getting something it is about letting go

When the Sufis advice you to learn to die before you die

They are in fact saying: learn how to let go

Before you are forced to let go

Which, when you are ill prepared could be problematic

Learning how to let go has a double advantage

It constitutes a good preparation for the unavoidable end to living

While at the same time it generates

Tranquility, contentment and Well Being in living

Something that cannot be achieved in acquisition

Because the drive for satisfaction in acquisition

Always involves a degree of dissatisfaction

And a lust for ever more

Because people are usually trained to hold opposite ideas

Letting go is generally not well understood

People often associate it with asceticism

Or with an uncaring, lethargic attitude to life

And with a disinterest in the aspects of living

Such ideas are indeed unnatural and often a trap

Because life is all that you are and it is in life that you live

Letting go is something entirely different

Letting go implies to stop relating to life

As something that is of your own

Of course you are the only centre of your universe of experience

And in living you are your universe of experience

Life however is more than experience

Your state of living is an integral whole within a whole

About which proportions and qualities we can have no idea

The letting go that I speak about refers to this whole

It is not restricted to how you deal with the world

Which for instance is the basis of the ascetic attitude to life

Letting go is not something that you do

It is different from trying to overcome your attachments

Letting go refers to you as the universe and the universe as you

Letting go is the ultimately refined expression of

What starts with the effort to overcoming ego attachments

In Letting Go you both flow in development and you contribute to it

In Letting Go everything always goes right

Because in Letting Go you listen first to the flow

In Letting Go the idea of going against the flow does not arise

When things go all right you are in the flow

When things start to go wrong you a diverting from the flow

These are the rights and wrongs of the flow

And not necessarily those of what you like and dislike

Or those of what you consider as important or not

Holding on to likes, dislikes, opinions and beliefs

Is usually an expression of attachment

Letting Go is not fatalistic in any way

It does not mean that you have to give up

Whenever you meet resistance

Your resistance may be part of the flow

While it may also be against the flow

Only open and non-attached listening

May provide an indication

Letting Go can only emerge when it is rooted in Trust

Without Trust there cannot be a Letting Go

There is horizontal trust and vertical trust

Horizontal trust is conditional

It is about who or what you can trust and who or what not

Vertical trust is unconditional

Vertical trust refers to Life in the transcendental sense

Life is geared to optimal living

In joining the optimal living of Life

The phenomenal living of experience

Will equally assume the characteristic of optimality

In the vertical trust there are no conditions

It is not a reflection of circumstances

Vertical Trust is an inner recognition

In Letting Go there is great Well Being

A Well Being that satisfaction cannot achieve

In Letting Go there is Awe and Wonder

In Letting Go all Life is continuously revealing

In Letting Go life becomes a revelation

In order for Letting Go to emerge

You first have to put effort in overcoming attachment

Mainly because such effort will guide you in the proper direction

This will lead you to an ultimate Letting Go

Only in Letting Go will attachments ultimately be overcome

Just trying to overcome your ego attachments

Does not necessarily lead to Letting Go

The necessary ingredient for Letting Go is Trust

When Symeon the New Theologian

Shouted out 1100 years ago

That his hands were God's hands

And that his feet were God's feet

Because he was a liberated theologian

He meant that his hands and feet

Were in the flow of life and that he was not

Imposing his will and his desires on that flow

He was expressing Letting Go

Letting Go is impossible without a profound Trust

It cannot be achieved without the unconditional vertical Trust

Ego cannot let go of ego; ego can only place itself in Trust

Ego can work on attachments as psychological objectives

For Letting Go there must be something to let go in

For this purpose all cultures cherish their gods and revelations

When gods become objects of attachment they become obstacles

And when religions and philosophies become concepts of identification

They lose all purpose and they merely lead astray

I therefore propose Abbah, undefined representing all

Without distinction embracing all transcendence

Abbah is Life and beyond

Abbah is ego and Life and beyond

Abbah is what it is and beyond what we could imagine

Abbah is all states non-living, potential living and living

Abbah is the invitation to Trust

Abbah is ultimate consolation and ultimate joy and beyond

Abbah is the Well Being and beyond

You can only discover Abbah by Letting Go

Ego as Nafs should concentrate on overcoming attachments

Ego as Ruh should elaborate openness and Trust in Awe and Wonder

Ego as Abbah is ultimate transcendence in the annihilation of Letting Go

25 September 2010

The alchemy of a relationship with a spiritual guide or yogi

A relationship beyond your imagination

~ A text by Irma ten Brink inspired by the work of Yoginâm ~

June 27, 2022

A relationship beyond all of your imagination

There are many different kinds of relationships. In this blog I would like to share with you a very special and quite unknown one.

I am talking about the relationship between the Beloved and the lover, the Master and the devotee, the Guide and the student, many names are given to this very special relationship. Here I choose the one closest to the language of western people, the Spiritual Guide and the student.

From my perspective this is the most beautiful relationship and yet the least understood.

In the West we only know the relation with a teacher and we project that knowledge on the relationship with a Spiritual Guide thinking it is the same, also because in our culture we just don’t have a reference to anything else.

However this is not very helpful and you will miss all extra benefits of the relation with the Guide if you keep looking at him as a teacher. A teacher has knowledge about certain things, he tries to teach you knowledge. This can be very beautiful and valuable but a real Spiritual Guide does something else. Or perhaps he does nothing and he needs nothing and that is his quality. His Guidance relates more to his state, from which the student can benefit, than to teachings.

I consciously use capital letters indicating for example the Spiritual Guide while writing the student with small letters. This does not indicate a hierarchy or inequality but rather different states. And by making the distinction it is clear the students want to move towards a different state. Also it indicates the nature of the Guide as being an instrument.

How it started

From the very beginning, now almost twenty year ago, I was aware of a certain alchemy happening every time I was in the presence of my Spiritual Guide Yoginâm. This presence can be in silence, while he is playing the harp, during a conversation or just in passing by. But also from a distance, by thinking about him, doing the Breath, asking inwardly for help, by writing an email to him, reading a text from his hand or listening to a recording of a former HarpMood. Fulfilling practical tasks, buying him a present or giving a donation, the alchemy is always there. And the more attention you give to all these different aspects and actively use them the stronger the transformative alchemy becomes.

Now is the Spiritual Guide doing all this? Is he creating a certain alchemy, doing something magical? I didn't understand. Once I spoke about this topic with Yoginâm and he says he doesn’t do anything, he just responds to the question or wathever input as a normal daily activity.  So what happens then? What is causing this alchemy that can transform just about anything?

The alchemy

If you aspire such a relationship it is good to realise you will have to bring life into this relationship yourself, then the Guide will reflect you back. The Guide has no needs or wants, he is in service, you are the one who needs something, longs for something and the Guide can help you find it and help you heal what needs to be healed to become more open and more whole and with that closer to your natural state, your authenticity.

The Guide, who also went through the same process, is because of his specific state of being as a clear mirror in which you are projecting yourself. All the different inputs you give into the relationship are ways to project yourself in that mirror and in that happening the alchemy is there which transforms you, it is something that happens naturally in openness. Sometimes you can really experience it, more often however you have no idea about what is happening in different more unconscious levels, you just find yourself changed somehow later on.

Bit by bit your transformations are making you a different person. You start projecting less and less and the mirror which at first was perceived by you in a troubled way becomes more clear. Eventually, because the mirror becomes clear, you start to see the real you, that which you are in Essence.

This all happens in reflection with the Guide being the mirror. Only a Guide, because of his state, can provide such a mirror, this is his task and this is what distinguishes him from a teacher or a therapist.

A Spiritual Guide is not a therapist

If you have serious psychological problems you need to work on them first before you are ready for a Spiritual path. The Guide has another purpose and is not a therapist. Being with a Guide is helping you let go of programmes that stand in the way of openness, this usually happens beyond the conscious field of understanding, you cannot grasp it. So instead of working with the problems you will have to learn to move your attunement towards trust instead of understanding which is often a form of control. When there are serious psychological problems letting go of this control can be too much or even become problematic.

A Spiritual Guide is a necessity for everyone seriously advancing on a Spiritual Path

All serious spiritual traditions underline this: when advancing on a Spiritual Path you need a Spiritual Guide who knows the path, can Guide you through and around the challenges and pitfalls and who gives you something to hold on to when everything else you knew and understood falls away like detrimental habitual programmes and a sense of control. You will learn to trust beyond understanding and enter the present moment. Advancing on the path without this very specific Guidance can even be dangerous.

Now you might think you have your inner Guide and this is enough, I hear this often, we all think “I can do this alone, I should, I need, I can do it myself now” etcetera but this is actually a dangerous thought. It is true, the Spiritual Guide ultimately leads you towards a stronger connection with your inner Guide but you need a long time, healing and Guidance to learn to hear, listen and recognise the difference between your inner Guide and everything else happening in your inner world. How do you know the difference between inner Guidance and ego controlled voices and visions however uplifting they can be? Only by checking your inner Guidance with a real Spiritual Guide, present in this world, can you learn the difference. Without this check you can easily fool yourself and even hurt yourself and others. Especially because the Spiritual Realm is unknown to you.

Only making use of a Spiritual Guide provides this alchemy I spoke of above and you need this alchemy to heal and unveil what we call Heart, the silent void from which all creation comes. When Heart is covered with veils one can never listen to an inner Guide, it only hears the ego needs and wants, one is slave of one’s own liking and disliking.

Ego

Just to be clear about something, there is nothing wrong with ego. Without it we are not able to live. Spirituality however is aiming at transforming the ego in such a way that it serves the whole which includes ourselves.

It is natural to build ego while growing up and those who were not able, because of (traumatic) circumstances or genetic causes, to build a healthy ego, are not ready for the Spiritual Path. They first have to build a healthy ego, meaning being able to live an adult and responsible life without serious psychological or psychiatric problems. Of course everyone has issues that still need to be healed, there just needs to be a certain stability for such a serieus path.

What can the Spiritual Guide do to help you?

To optimally make use of this relationship the Guide, like Yoginâm is doing, can provide you with tools. These can be meditation tools and an example of life ethics and a helpful way of thinking and experiencing. But he can also give you a specific task or provide ways for you to work together with other students within a certain framework in which all serve a higher purpose, this is a perfect means to transform yourself.

Yoginâm created this possibility by starting first the Asharum in Amonines, Belgium and later Asharum Nijar in Spain. Both built up from the ground and through this building and working together we transform ourselves simply because a higher goal is served instead of personal needs like detrimental attachments and programmes.

Customs

Usually there are customs when being around the Spiritual Guide.

Probably these, for Westerners, strange looking customs often give the idea the Spiritual Guide is worshipped. However nothing could be less the case.

These customs and rituals are mere ways to invite for example a kind of humbleness, or as they also call it in some traditions, a spiritual poverty. This is a knowing in a deep and true sense that you don’t know anything, a state of surrendering to Totality (which we cannot know or understand).

Other customs invite gratefulness and respect. Such attitudes are needed to open yourself and to enter the open states of love, awe and wonder. Therefore the customs around the Spiritual Guide are always there to serve you and not the Guide. He is unattached to such customs, often they are even uncomfortable.

Even when the student serves the Guide with certain tasks, eventually he serves himself through the service which is the tool to transform oneself.

Also the Spiritual Guide does not or at least should not desire being worshipped because this would be in the way of true, pure Guidance. It would ripple the mirror let’s say and prevent the students eventually from discovering their true Essence.

It would actually make the student dependent instead of independent, in true Spirituality this dependency can never be the aim. It is the task of the Guide to prevent this from happening, especially with those who are programmed in their lives in such a way that they are actually longing for this dependency, a true Guide will recognise this and help the students stand on their own feet by helping them to transform these programmes. Ultimately the aim of the Guide is to help you find real inner freedom, meaning freed from attachments and disturbing programmes and to build a strong relationship with Totality in which all is sharing.

And perhaps this is what distinguishes a real Guide from profiteers who are out for power and prestige and who depend on the dependency of their students.

How do you know you found the right Spiritual Guide?

There is a wise saying from the old traditions: “It is not you who will find the Spiritual Guide, it is the Guide who will find you”. This is what happened to me too and I hear it all around me.

This means you can only prepare yourself, listen to life as best as possible and when you are ready the Guide will call you in his very mysterious and wondrous way. Then all you have to do is say yes and embrace it realising how lucky you are.

Many go to the East in search for the Guide but will not necessarily find him. I also wanted to go East, however life took me by the hand and sent me to America to prepare myself only to be found by him shortly after and very nearby in my own country.

How do I give form to this relationship?

Of course this is a very intimate question and also you have to discover your way, your form because no two relationships are the same. This is also because of my ego constellation, who I am and how my ego was formed. The programmes and genes that made me what I am today are unique. Consequently the relationship is unique as well.

What I can say is this; mostly I try to visit my spiritual Guide Yoginâm as often as possible, I serve as much as possible, regularly I ask for a private HarpMood, one of his beautiful means of sharing. Not because I have a problem but to connect with him and improve my attunement which is making me a better person, able to better serve the whole. When Guidance seems to come from within but there is doubt I double check with Yoginâm. When I go through something for which I feel a need to share I contact him, when there are (spiritual) questions I ask Yoginâm. When I have a difficult time my focus is on Yoginâm, I read and reread his books and texts, I go to retreats, in the beginning years I received regular healings, I am using his tools every day and so on….

Being with Yoginâm and opening myself for him means I am opening myself for something infinitely wide and intimately close. It is not personal and it is beyond understanding. Yoginâm, always in service to All, is my gate to this ungraspable reality....

Of course there is no right or wrong way, only your way. You have to find a way that works for you and there are as many ways as there are people.  I hope this inspires you to find your own way too.

The Turban

Once upon a time, there was a famous Sufi Master in Baghdad. He had the habit of taking a daily walk through the busiest part of the city with a huge turban on his head, which was covered all around with jewels and gold jewelry. He wore a large cloak with the most beautiful and expensive gold brocade.

He was a very famous Master. One day a spiritual seeker came from another city and wanted to meet him. He arrived at the Master’s house just as he was returning from his daily walk. As usual, he was fully decked out with the turban and cloak. This confused the visitor quite a bit.

That same evening after the meal, he was given the opportunity to speak to the Guide. He said, "I'm glad to see you, but I've always been under the impression that the Sufi Masters are pursuing a simple lifestyle. When I saw you walking today, I was confused. Surely this is not an appropriate behaviour for a Master!"

To this the Master replied, "You have come here because you want to learn from me. In your words, however, there is a condemnation of my behaviour. That is why I cannot be your Master and I ask you to leave tomorrow."

"But I don't want to send you away without helping you a little: Everyone who comes to a Master can benefit from the loving energy of the Master. Through the unconscious exchange of this loving energy, people change, often without realising it themselves."

"I wear this gaudy turban and this ostentatious cloak every day, so that as many people as possible on the street will see me and look at me. This allows as many people as possible to be touched by perhaps a little bit of the loving energy. And through all the little bits together, they very gradually become better people."

"If you condemn my behaviour, even if only a little bit, then you close the door and you cannot receive my loving energy. That's why I can’t take you on as a student."

Was this blog helpful for you? Then you might also like the blog 'living the natural state'.

My relationship with Yoginâm