How can I take care of myself without protecting boundaries

Recently, I wrote a blog about protecting one’s boundaries and how, from a spiritual perspective, this may not be very helpful. You can read the full blog here. Today, I want to delve a bit deeper into this topic, as it’s truly a shame to close off doors, and I invite people to open them—both for themselves, for their surroundings, and for the world, which so desperately needs this!

I was never someone who established my own boundaries

This time, I’d like to approach the topic through a personal story. I always write from personal experiences. I was never someone who established my own boundaries, and it really affected me at times. I couldn’t say no, nor could I stand up for myself. And honestly, I still struggle with that! However, what used to cause me issues has now become my strength. It benefits me and those around me!

I have learned something much more beautiful, powerful and fruitful

Over the last twenty years, I’ve learned something much more beautiful, powerful, and fruitful. I’ve increasingly realized how everything is part of a larger whole. This isn’t something to explain in detail; we cannot fully grasp that greater whole. However, we can relate to it and live in accordance with it.

I take care of that whole, which includes myself

Within this larger whole that I am a part of, I try to listen to the signals that speak to me. I aim to do this with an open attitude. I take care of that whole, which includes myself. I am not separate from this whole, as it is important to remember that the ‘greater whole’ is not something I relate to as a separate entity!

Even if I am feeling tired myself

This means that sometimes I help someone who looks tired and might need a boost, even if I’m feeling tired myself. I can choose to believe that the other person may need it more. At other times, I can opt to step back and take the rest I realize I require—not because I want to, but because I know that others benefit when I’m fit and healthy.

When you learn to listen well

When you learn to listen well, you start to notice the right signals and can tell when it’s better to take care of someone else or yourself. The whole shows this. We also refer to this as Asha. This is always personal; others cannot determine what your Asha is.

Taking care of yourself is not a selfish act

Taking care of yourself is not a selfish act; quite the opposite. It’s always about making balanced choices, considering the circumstances involved. Self-care can sometimes be postponed, though at times it cannot!

The moments when I feel the urge to establish a boundary, forgetting that we share in a larger whole, often come when I’ve ignored the signals that have already been presented to me. I may have gotten lost, charged ahead, or simply didn’t feel like listening, thinking it would be fine. But eventually, there are consequences, and that impacts others as well.

Signals in Asha are neutral and do not consider what we find pleasant or unpleasant. They point the way—period. So, I know now that I better avoid those delicious chocolates after many times learning the hard way, facing consequences that others around me can also endure.

I had a listening attitude

Returning to how my lack of assertiveness and ability to say no has turned into an advantage: because I’ve always had a caring attitude—sometimes at the expense of myself, I discovered how everything comes back to you.

I had a listening attitude that helped me discover Asha, a journey of discovery that is still ongoing! Now, I know that I only need to care for the whole and simply listen to the signals coming from it.

Tools for transformation

On this path HarpMood by Yoginâm was certainly one of the very helpful tools for transformation.

Being in Yoginâm's presence through HarpMood, either live or through a recording, has opened me for the many subtleties life holds and helped me to learn to see these signals which can be subtle as well.

And now I can trust!

I can trust now that the whole will take care of me! I could never have discovered this if I had solely focused on myself. Should you wish to explore this theme further, book a spot for the “Meaningful Living” event we’ll hold on November 26 2025, a powerful five day event. More information here.